| Author |
Stranger In a Strange land |
NZ-juex16
Admiral
*Renegade Space Marines*
Joined: December 13, 2010
Posts: 102
From: Southland, New Zealand
|  Posted: 2011-01-03 22:47
Sorry but Chapter six will be delayed for prehaps a week or more, i just can't get it right and i'm trying to give the best without giving away the whole stroyline.
Sorry again.
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Capitaine de vaisseau, U.W.S Ajax
U.W.S Melborne
I.S.S Achilles
Author of Stanger in a Strange land.
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jamesbob
Grand Admiral
Joined: August 22, 2009
Posts: 410
| Posted: 2011-01-04 02:56
seriously at least i didn't god my self in my story or my character i wrote and i fully intend to kill of the character (its always fun thinking of the best way to kill them off)
for those that do not know what goding is editing real combat events where you died to you suvived but barely or to pwning 500 ships and stuff like that
b making people bow down at you in your storys making them cower in fear when they normaly slughter you in those situations.
c earning medals that you have not received
d having insane firepower on your ship which in the game you would not have.
you see at least kenny has the ablility to not base his storys arround him.
also the sea man that is normally always arround the captain or outside the captains sleeping area is called a yeoman whos job is to let the captain know of any events and to (in cases of being boarded) shoot anyone trying to kill said captain and to aid with ship defence.
i think i explained all of this have i not.
no offence intended juex just want to clear up what goding is
wops that was what i ment did a major typo
[ This Message was edited by: jamesbob on 2011-01-04 04:55 ]
[ This Message was edited by: jamesbob on 2011-01-04 05:04 ]
[ This Message was edited by: jamesbob on 2011-01-04 05:16 ]
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NZ-juex16
Admiral
*Renegade Space Marines*
Joined: December 13, 2010
Posts: 102
From: Southland, New Zealand
| Posted: 2011-01-04 05:09
Just to clear up James this is FICTION which for all that didn't know means it's NOT ture, yes there are events that did happen and no i don't up my play in those events (maybe just a little, hey who woundn't) for all who was there i did indeed take out one dread on my own, but with surrport from Flash and Kling who opened a hold in the shields for me to attack.
As for the medals, again go's to the Fiction part, and if you continue to read you'll find out it wasn't all just the Main character who was doing all the heroics there were others who helped, the reason i choose those medals were not to gloat that he was a Hardcore war hero whos ground he walked on be worshiped but that he had helped the world in it's time of need and was overly rewarded by greatfull nations don't worry, if you want i can make a story about a Armarican based hero if you want,(no offence to the fine readers from the USA) but all i see in moives etc is that only heros come from there, not ture and i wanted to add more cultures and countrys to the mix to show more of the world to some who haven't seen much of it. (and if you do indeed live in aussie then stick it you dirty aus you know we Kiwis are better...lol, just cause you can't play rugby at our level anymore..... ;p )
That Seaman you refur to is not as yet "Juex's" Yeoman, more is made clear in further chapters, and for Amy she's the XO and just happens to be round when he calls out.
If you WANT to i can type up a quick bio for all Characters mention so far.
And if you REALLY need to know i'm serving my Country proudly, it's just the service i'm in does't allow cadets to earn war medals.
[ This Message was edited by: NZ-juex16 on 2011-01-04 05:33 ]
[ This Message was edited by: NZ-juex16 on 2011-01-04 05:36 ]
_________________
Capitaine de vaisseau, U.W.S Ajax
U.W.S Melborne
I.S.S Achilles
Author of Stanger in a Strange land.
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Jasper
Fleet Admiral
*Renegade Space Marines*
Joined: October 20, 2004
Posts: 15
From: Ontario, Canada
| Posted: 2011-01-04 06:39
i haven't read it, but really...how many "stories" do we need here
[ This Message was edited by: Jasper on 2011-01-04 06:40 ]
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NZ-juex16
Admiral
*Renegade Space Marines*
Joined: December 13, 2010
Posts: 102
From: Southland, New Zealand
| Posted: 2011-01-04 16:11
If you don't read it you can't complain about it, and if you don't like it. Stop reading it. if you see something you would like added or a surgestion you feel could make the story better comment. but if ya going to complain there are too meny of these "stories" stop wasting your time in commenting about it and simply don't go into the fan fiction section.
_________________
Capitaine de vaisseau, U.W.S Ajax
U.W.S Melborne
I.S.S Achilles
Author of Stanger in a Strange land.
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jamesbob
Grand Admiral
Joined: August 22, 2009
Posts: 410
| Posted: 2011-01-04 19:40
Quote:
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On 2011-01-04 16:11, NZ-juex16 wrote:
If you don't read it you can't complain about it, and if you don't like it. Stop reading it. if you see something you would like added or a surgestion you feel could make the story better comment. but if ya going to complain there are too meny of these "stories" stop wasting your time in commenting about it and simply don't go into the fan fiction section.
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heres the kicker it appears in the latest topics so people are forced to read it and you want them to stop complaining ????
which galaxy do you come from ?
what i said those things i said earlyer were ment to set out what goding is not to poke holes in your story had you bothered to read my recorrection you would know i did a typo.
oh and if you want i can get my good old book of war history out and give you a lecture on medals if you prefer to read what you chose out of this AGAIN.
[ This Message was edited by: jamesbob on 2011-01-04 19:42 ]
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-Shadowalker-™
Admiral
Galactic Navy
Joined: September 23, 2007
Posts: 709
From: Shadows
| Posted: 2011-01-04 20:20
your not forced to read it... you clicked on it and made a decision to read it...
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NZ-juex16
Admiral
*Renegade Space Marines*
Joined: December 13, 2010
Posts: 102
From: Southland, New Zealand
| Posted: 2011-01-04 22:51
I'm not going to even bother further discussing this, it's quite clear; if you don't like it DON"T read it, it may be in the Latest Topics but it does't mean you HAVE to read it, i ain't pointing a gun at you and saying "read it or i blow your Brains all over you Screen"
Thanks you Shadowalker nice too see someone see sense in this.
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Capitaine de vaisseau, U.W.S Ajax
U.W.S Melborne
I.S.S Achilles
Author of Stanger in a Strange land.
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Kenny_Naboo
Marshal
Pitch Black
Joined: January 11, 2010
Posts: 3823
From: LobsterTown
| Posted: 2011-01-05 03:43
FFS ppl. This is Fan Fiction. Just stories.
Let's just give the author/OP a bit of respect here. It's his story.
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... in space, no one can hear you scream.....
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Lazurkri
Fleet Admiral
Interstellar Cultural Confederation United
Joined: January 20, 2010
Posts: 37
From: Chilliwack, British Columbia, Canada
| Posted: 2011-01-05 07:05
Interesting, but needs grammar check and punctuation, then it would be interesting.
A side note: I'm insulted by that comment about making noncalculated attacks.... Everything I try to do is motivated by reward/risk calculations. I just get into situations were I cannot win often, or fail to make it away.
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We Must Hang Together, Or Assuredly, We Will All Hang Separately
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NZ-juex16
Admiral
*Renegade Space Marines*
Joined: December 13, 2010
Posts: 102
From: Southland, New Zealand
| Posted: 2011-01-05 18:36
Yeah English isn't excatly my 'strong' subject in school i'm more of the maths, science and Soical sciences person.
(yet i got the highest GDP for my level in english last year for internal tests....what has the world come too..lol)
_________________
Capitaine de vaisseau, U.W.S Ajax
U.W.S Melborne
I.S.S Achilles
Author of Stanger in a Strange land.
|
jamesbob
Grand Admiral
Joined: August 22, 2009
Posts: 410
| Posted: 2011-01-05 18:56
Quote:
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On 2011-01-05 18:36, NZ-juex16 wrote:
Yeah English isn't excatly my 'strong' subject in school i'm more of the maths, science and Soical sciences person.
(yet i got the highest GDP for my level in english last year for internal tests....what has the world come too..lol)
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theirs a difference between english and grammer just to clear that up being good at english does not make you good at grammer
(supplying a excuse)
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NZ-juex16
Admiral
*Renegade Space Marines*
Joined: December 13, 2010
Posts: 102
From: Southland, New Zealand
| Posted: 2011-01-05 19:14
Well here she is, chapter six in all it's weird and wacky glory, chapter 7 will be out in two or three days prehaps.
Chapter Six
Flash and LightBreaker entered the office quickly followed by Captain Juex “well first off, I’d like to personally thank you for holding off those Dreadnoughts. “That my friend was a feat that will not go unheard” “It wasn’t just all me, Klingon helped not to mention my crew” “Not the way they all put it” replied Lightbreaker “So” said Flash while throwing Juex a Box “I am now promoting you to 1st Rear Admiral, Congratulations Admiral” Flash Shook Jeux’s hand, then so did Marshal Lightbreaker.
Juex stood there shell shocked he had just got promoted twice in less then a seconded “Err thank you Sir…Sirs I mean I…I don’t know what to say….I’m a bit shocked.” “I’d expect you to be…it took me four years to get from 2nd rear to 1st and you done it in literary a seconded” said Flash “took me six” said Lightbreaker “Yeah that’s cause you were caught sleeping with the Marshal’s Daughter and crashed your Missile Cruiser into Depot yard on Mars” replied Flash “Really sir?” asked Juex trying very hard to hold his laughter “Yes to the first one” replied Lightbreaker with a sly grin “But doing that fender bender with the Cruiser wasn’t my fault the dam helmsman was asleep on post and didn’t notice the Autopilot flying straight for it” “If I remember correctly” replied Flash, “That “Fender bender” was a complete write off AND you totaled the supply depot AND you banged up the weapon’s platform next to it pretty bad as well” Juex could no longer keep it in and was on his knees laughing so hard it hurt his chest “Really?” Juex replied though bursts of tears and silent laughter” “Yes, yes we did get up too some antics, one time we kidnapped our sector Marshal put him in a space suit and towed him behind our ship and played bumper ship with each other while he was still outside” laughed Flash “But he didn’t really see it that way and throw’s the biggest nuting at an Officer I’ve seen to date” replied Lightbreaker “Well you did run full blast at me in your Picket” said Flash.
“But you didn’t tell me to come here to share your war stories did you sir?” “No we didn’t” said Flash “Do you know what your wearing son?” asked Lightbreaker “Not really sir I found it in my box of items that was found on me when Flash’s team found me in Hibernation inside a Cryogenic chamber” “Box?, Hibernation?, Cyro chamber? What on Heavens Earth you about?” Lightbreaker looked at Flash and signaled though body language asking what he was on about “Ahhh yeah” Said Flash “What I’m about to tell you is classified to the highest level, not even the Grand Chancler himself knows about this…sorry I mean “Him” ” said Flash pointing to Juex “whoa ok there seems to be at this then I can see, but go ahead”.
“So Juex would you care too explain to the Marshal, it is all about you anyhow” asked Flash, this was the first time that Juex had ever called him by his “Name” in the ten years he had known him, over those ten Flash and Juex had become good friends which could be seen seeing how Flash was the one who found him, He even let Juex Command his Elite Assault Dreadnought the first day he got it as a Promotion gift and ended up destroying a Pirate Cruiser while Flash was in the bathroom.
“Ok I’ll tell what I can” said Juex “But first I need a stiff drink and a chair” soon after some Pure grain Russian Vodka was brought in and a more then a few shots downed he began “From what I’ve been told I was Discovered In June 2260 in a sealed Coal mine on the west coast of what was New Zealand… “It still is” said Lightbreaker “What?” asked Juex “New Zealand….It still there as in the nation there’s only a small local government but she’s still there Where you think you got those Pints of milk on your ship? Or that steak you had for dinner last night?” “Wow sir I…I didn’t know she was still there” replied Juex tears almost could be seen “Anyway where was I?... ph yes the mine, anyway…Flash was supervising a dig to find a old Coal stem which was needed in steel manufacture, the extractor beams after around twenty minutes bust though a sealed steel door.
The computers operating the machines shutdown instantly and sent a signal to the command tent of what had happened. A search team came and found me, a note was on my forehead saying “Save me, I’m alive” I was then brought back to Atlantis where I finally woke in October and was interviewed then given the Rank of Ensign and a ship. The rest you can find in the Navy personal files, I also have no memories of before I was discovered or none of importance to the UGTO anyway.” Lightbreaker sat there Silently taking in all that was said “So where does this “Box” come in” he asked now taken in on what has been said “It was found with me, in it was this Jacket, pants, medals, shoes, a very old computer, a photo with me and a Blonde in it and a Hard covered Dairy with ‘Leader’ written in gold on the cover” “So all those items are yours?” “I presume so yes” Lightbreaker looked at Flash “Does he know” “No” replied Flash “Know What?” ask Juex interested in what he wasn’t being told lightbreaker spoke up.
“During WWIII many nations fell under terrorist control some stayed out as best they could, but were soon drawn in some nations like the US, China, UK, France and Russian just would not give in, what isn’t widely known is that many smaller Pacific nations Australia and New Zealand mostly joint the big five and wouldn’t give in, due to being so far form either Europe or the new world they simply shutdown Airports and docks so no one could leave or enter.
But it didn’t last, they simply brought there own boats and planes and invaded.
They made the mistake of attacking both at the same time, which spilt there resources, New Zealand with a poorly equipited Military was sweped pretty quickly, but a young Corporal had enough, he walked into a command brief and shot all the commanders and took control himself.
With his ragtag group of commanders, most weren’t older then twenty two soon they began a Guerrilla war using a tried and true system of independent cells.
These cells worked on there own fighting in a small zone that was given to them and one cell never knew the location of another cells or the home base so if one cell was taken it wouldn’t compromise the entire guerilla movement. The cell commanders were the only ones who knew what the leader looked like and were picked and trained by him so that he knew that they were perfect in every military way possible and there would be no “cock up’s” as he put it. All were fluent in the native language called ‘Maori’ and it was used in the codes as the language was only spoken in New Zealand and by few outsiders which made it practaly impossible to crack, even so each cell is ordered to do code checks by setting simple traps to see if the codes are being read. Only once have they been found to be broken and they were quickly changed to another set.
They soon got a name for themselves hated by few in the populace they raided supply coveys and ships from the local port to stop the flow of men and supplies who were going to fight in Australia they used everything they could their hands on Automatic Rifles, Semi-Auto rifles, bolt action even muzzle loaded black powder muskets, on one skirmish they stole a converted airliner gunship, bombed several terrorist positions in Tasmania then came back and flew it into the airbase they stole it from.
After a few months there numbers rose to over two thousand troops in the south island and five hundred and twenty in the north with more troops came more cells, with more cells became smaller zones they patrolled with smaller zones meant more attacks and more attacks led to less supplies coming and going which required more troops to guard those supplies drawing them away from the front lines they were the straw that almost broke the donkeys back.
But it was not to be, around mid to late 2011 the attacks stopped suddenly without warning no one found anything relating to the local Guerillas the local populace called them ‘Partisans’ like those during WWII.
In order to stop spies one method was that each had a microchip implanted into them and into the uniforms that they wore so that only them could wear it, it was a bad idea in that spies would simply get there on uniform made but the originals did it anyway and they did around three cells were compromised but since one cell never knew about another, apart from radio damage control was quick and easy and the Cells were never broken as a whole.
But one thing that was known about the ‘leader’ is that he had something that he always carried with him……a black hard covered Diary with “leader” in gold on the cover”
Juex stood their and listened as Lightbreaker gave him a history lesson he just stood there, no facial expressions no nothing he wasn’t even blinking he processed at what was said he then spoke “So are you telling me that I might be that ‘leader’ you speak of?” he asked “All the evidence would have us believe that yes” replied Flash in a very quiet mono tone Juex began falling like he had gotten off his chair to quickly and was about to black out he lurched at the bottle of vodka, unscrewed the lid and downed the last 700 milliliters of the one litre bottle and then dropped it on the floor smashing it in the process Flash stood up “Admiral we understand what your going though, but there are more important things at hand at the moment that require you” “Youuuu don’t understand at all Sirs you don’t understand at all” Juex slurred “If your correct I’m two hundred and fifty nine years old and there fore the oldest living human in the known universe” Juex began wobbling a little as his Liver couldn’t process the alcohol fast enough and began dumping excess into the blood causing him to get drunk.
He was about to do something when someone entered Lightbreakers Office, he looked at the now drunken Juex and stood their in serf ice to say ‘Whys he drunk and in that weird uniform?” “My my look what the cat dragged in” said Lightbreaker “You look like hell my friend” said the man “You ain’t doing any better in the department either you old space dog” the man grinned and patted is gut “Why have just the six pack when you can have the whole keg” he chuckled he looked at Juex who now had jo’d out on the lounge chair in Lightbreakers office “he’s a piece of work in he?” ask the unknown man “LONG story” replied Flash who spoke up to the man for the first time “It seems Ickie has yet to get rid of you either” said the man towards Flash, Flash raised his arms above his head as to say “well they ain’t that good are they then” “well you didn’t come here to show off your new hair cut, so get with it” snapped Flash “No I didn’t” the man threw a bage folder to them “read it” both Marshals began reading.
After around twenty minutes they both finished and looked up “this for real?” Lightbreaker asked “cause how the hell I’m ment to get one of those….” “Don’t worry” said the man “there’s one parked out back” “My god man!, I’m the commander of this base and I don’t even get told about these things…..how the hell am I meant to explain this to the passing ships who dock?” the man shrugged “not my problem, no need to shoot the messenger I’m only the mail guy” Flash spoke up “do you really think he can do it?, I mean really he hasn’t been in service that long and….well look at him he’s drunk and passed out in the office of a base commander for god sakes” “well somebody at Mars believes in him” “Mars?, you saying this came from the senate?” “I don’t know” replied the man “I was just ordered to give this to him” “ Well ok, we’ll tell him but what happens if he doesn’t take the mission?” “He won’t” replied the man.
EDIT: The 'man' in the last part is un named, it will be up to you of who it will be Jamesbob? or maybe BackSlash? for you too know and me to find out!
_________________
Capitaine de vaisseau, U.W.S Ajax
U.W.S Melborne
I.S.S Achilles
Author of Stanger in a Strange land.
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NZ-juex16
Admiral
*Renegade Space Marines*
Joined: December 13, 2010
Posts: 102
From: Southland, New Zealand
| Posted: 2011-01-05 20:24
Quote:
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On 2011-01-05 18:56, jamesbob wrote:
Quote:
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On 2011-01-05 18:36, NZ-juex16 wrote:
Yeah English isn't excatly my 'strong' subject in school i'm more of the maths, science and Soical sciences person.
(yet i got the highest GDP for my level in english last year for internal tests....what has the world come too..lol)
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theirs a difference between english and grammer just to clear that up being good at english does not make you good at grammer
(supplying a excuse)
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I'M not good at english or grammer i'm worse at the latter it was just the way it ended up i happen to give all the tests into the teacher on time and it passed, the only thing i'm good at english is giving a speach to a aduanice and creative writing.
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Capitaine de vaisseau, U.W.S Ajax
U.W.S Melborne
I.S.S Achilles
Author of Stanger in a Strange land.
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Admiral C. Wilson
Admiral
Joined: July 06, 2010
Posts: 262
From: Arkansas
| Posted: 2011-01-06 19:08
I like the story.You should add me:)
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Well boys it looks like we'll be home in time for coffee and donuts.
-Admiral Ricky Chance Wilson
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